Victim's impact statement

While we were married, Paul had this odd little quirk.  He would say something outlandish, borderline offensive then would watch carefully to see my reaction.  Then, upon realizing he had offended me, he would blast out, eyes sparkling, smile flashing, “I’m joking, I’m joking!”

Although I initially found this charming, when it started happening daily, even hourly, I took some pause and remembered words I had been told.  “There are elements of truth to every joke.”

And this is how I would respond to him.  He kept it up anyway.  Joking about my weight, joking about bringing my sister or my daughter to bed with us, always joking.

Here, ladies and gentlemen we see a classic Domanski in progress.

When his words didn’t have the desired result, he comes back to everyone and says “Oh I was just saying those things to save my marriage!  I didn’t actually DO anything wrong… not me… I’m innocent.”  It harkens back to a “You wouldn’t hit a guy wearing glasses, would you?  Oh, that didn’t help raise your opinion of me?  How about the fact that I’m epileptic and autistic?  Does that help?”

All I heard in Mr. Domanski’s defense was an “I’m joking, I’m joking!  Please don’t throw the book at me?”

Your honor, I am requesting that you do just that.  Throw the book at him.

The above statements; the above actions are those of a sociopath, who will never take responsibility for his actions.  His parents will always be there to save the day, because of course, Mr. Domanski being as sick as he is couldn’t have possibly done anything wrong. 

I stand here not only for myself, but for my daughter and my ex-husband William.  Lily has been through enough.  She’s had enough.  She is not going to be this sociopath’s puppet any longer.  She doesn’t have to be, and furthermore she refuses to be.  She just wants him to disappear from her life, forever.  She wants to be able to sleep at night knowing the man who stole her innocence at a mere 6 years old, then convinced her this was something she wanted, is somewhere that he can never traumatize her again.

My daughter, during the time that Mr. Domanski was in jail, has found herself able to breathe easier.  When the thought that he may not stay there entered her consciousness, she acted out heavily, she didn’t sleep, she hardly ate, she was a shell of her beautiful and vibrant self.  She felt that the 12 individuals who heard the facts would side with Mr. Domanski.

Mr. Domanski is an artist as far as word craft.  He can write, speak and create a whole world through his words.  This is one of the many traits that attracted me to him when we first fell in love those 12 years ago.  He recited poetry, he took my words and created tiny uplifting packages with them, making me feel better about life in general.  He can convince you that there is beach front property in a desert, a trait I used to attribute to his younger brother, but he’s got it too.  When he had a strong opinion, he was able to casually and completely flawlessly weave his reasoning into arguments.

My Mother hated him for it.  They would discuss politics and Paul always had the right fact or figure to prove his point… as time went on, we realized he was making them all up.

He felt no remorse for fooling my Mother or myself, because he doesn’t even see what he is saying as a lie.

See, the best liars are the ones who can convince themselves that the words they are speaking are true.  It is also the banner sign of sociopathic tendencies. 

This man is a sociopath, and those closest to him cannot see it because they are in his spell.

My words right now, they are insuring I will never see my sons again.  They are in his parents care as they have been since a month after Paul went to prison.  He was finally brave enough to tell me, his wife at the time, the truth, but still would not tell his dear mother.  And because he never told her, I will never see my sons again.  “Just Joking, Mom!   It was a huge joke!  Ha!  I sure got you good, didn’t I?”

I can’t blame them.  I won’t blame them.  This falls solidly on Mr. Domanski’s shoulders.  He did this to my sons, deprived them of their mother, just as he deprived my daughter of a normal child hood.  I mean, he’s in jail, he can’t effect anything, or can he?  Oh, I assure you he can.  He will continue to do what he wishes, just to make sure that he is all constantly in our forethoughts.

He needs a kind of help that does not exist at this time.  I still do not wish to believe that, but it is proven time and time again. There is no proven cure for pedophilia, there is no proven cure for sociopathic tendencies.

Chief Judge Swartz: It is with a heavy heart that I request that you give Mr. Domanski the longest sentence possible for the sake of my daughter’s healing.  She needs to know during this chaotic time of her late adolescence that she will be safe from him no matter what comes and goes.  She needs to be safe from him into her adulthood, and middle age, and into her old age.

As Mr. Domanski told me all those years ago on the phone, The only possible way this could be made right in his eyes was to have a consensual relationship with her after she reaches 16.  She will be 16 in 4 months and 18 days.  I believe if Mr. Domanski finds himself out on the street, the first thing he will do is attempt to find her.  He already attempted to call her when he was first put in jail.  He is a definite harm to my daughter, and with as reassuring as a restraining order is, it is just a piece of paper.

And I want to take an opportunity to thank you Chief Judge Swartz for your continued commitment to the Washtenaw County community on behalf of myself, my daughter and my family.  We are continually grateful for your commitment to keeping the community safe and being fair to all who appear before you.