Goodnight, Sweetheart

My Mother contacted me rather frantically on Saturday morning.  She explained that she had searched google on a gut feeling, (she does this from time to time, her intuition is on point).  She had found an obituary in one of the local papers.  It was for Paul's Grandmother.

So, to that end I am writing.

First, Jeannette, you were always so kind to me, taking me in as your own granddaughter in 2002 when I was just Paul's roommate.  You invited me to come to Thanksgiving dinner.  It was a typical Polish Thanksgiving, there was turkey, 'craut, kilbaska, football, and a house full of teenages and young adults.  There was no music, but there was plenty of sound.

I was not well recieved by everyone there; but that was mostly due to teenage cliques formed by the cousins.  I was made to feel welcomed by Jeannette and Frank, who asked me about my story, who I was and where I was going in my life.

By Christmas of that year, they had bought myself and my daughter Christmas presents, and taken me in as family.

When all of us got together on holidays, we'd talk about old stories, how Detroit used to be, what Paul was like as a child.  Easter of 2005 I was very ill after having Evan, and she happily held the baby and made sure I sat and got rest.

She was the matriarch of the family, and as such did all of the planning for get togethers.

I was shocked and saddened to hear this wonderful human being had moved on from this plane of existence.  I am very sad I will not have a chance to mourn her passing with the people I considered family.  But I know it wouldn't be right.
I sent flowers and a card, because that's what you do.

My dear former and always family:
I love you, I hope some peace can be found in the fact that Sweetheart is no longer suffering.  You are all beautiful people, and I see aspects of her in each and every one of you.  As you go on in this new chapter, know my heart is with you, just as it always has been.  I am deeply sorry for your loss, and I hope someday I see you all again.

Goodnight, Sweetheart.  Rest well.  We all look forward to seeing you again.  <3

My Response to the Allegations made against Jared Fogle

No one knows but Jared what happened with those children, so before we all blaze in with our pitchforks and torches... Let's let the law men do their work. Having said that, here is a message for Katie Fogle: who has already responded with a brief statement:

"Obviously, I am extremely shocked and disappointed by the recent developments involving Jared. I am in the process of seeking a dissolution of the marriage," Katie said in a statement. "My focus is exclusively on the well-being of my children. Neither I nor my family will have any further comment on the matter. I appreciate respect for my family's privacy during this difficult time." 

You know in your heart the truth of the matter.  Just stay quiet, tell the denial to take a back seat for a minute, ask "Could this really happen?"
If you answered yes, get out now before CPS starts asking questions, follow the following steps:


1. Leave, do not have another word with Jared.  This is going to be the worst and hardest part for you.  This is someone you loved and trusted with your life, your best friend.  It will be the hardest thing you do, and you'll have to keep doing it, but, for the sake of your kids, KEEP DOING IT.

2. Do not allow anyone who is associated with your soon to be ex husband to watch the kids on their own for even a moment.  Not overnight, not at all.  Trust me, it may seem like a nice idea to get away from this nonsense, but considering what happened to me, you'll spend the rest of your life kicking yourself if you do allow it.

3. Cooperate with CPS but take NO SHIT.  Do not let anyone browbeat you into admitting to something just to get them to let you alone.  Be blunt, be honest, be short, follow whatever suggestion they give you and do not complain about it.  If they pull in other family members, let them call you the horrible things they are going to, but then refute LOUDLY.

4. Have your children talk to a children's advocate right away, just to make sure there is nothing more serious going on.  Don't wait.  It'll give you piece of mind.

5. Breathe, hang in there.  You weren't in a place to know all of this yesterday.  Don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault.  Some people are just wired differently, and sometimes they short circuit.  You couldn't have known on your first date, you couldn't have known on your wedding day.  Your life will fall apart, that's a given.

I pray that you, too, learn to make a mosaic of it.

Nameste,
Danielle.